Pam Ousley's Humble Leading
God's Story in Pam Ousley's Life
It doesn't get much more heartlandish than Norman, Oklahoma, if you're talking about the United States. This is where Pam Ousley's physical life began. God had formed her from before the foundation of the world, but her time on earth was not to be visible to others until June 26, 1956. Cold war threats, Elvis Presley, the Beatles, the extreme actions carried out by young people in the 1960's, sex, drugs, rock and roll, all these played a part in the mind of Pam Ousley as she grew up in small town USA. She had all the physical comforts. This, apparently, was not enough for her. She held onto a distorted perception of being abandoned and/or rejected by her parents and she could not shake this terrible deception. She was the "typical" tomboy, playing with boys more than with girls and never going through the stage of thinking boys had "cooties." In her adolescent years, she began to experience scary yet intriguing emotional and sexual attractions to her female friends. The older she got, the more she was involved with school and church friends who were also experimenting with their own same-gender sexual attraction issues. The question she did not realize was being asked of her was the age-old question of Satan which was, "Did God really say?" The question Pam could not answer satisfactorily was whether or not she was truly heterosexual. And, added to this was her newly acquired desire to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol, terrible and self defeating habits which she held onto for many, many years.
At age 14 (in 1970), she accepted Jesus Christ and was baptized, but received no real church discipling to help her understand what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. Thanks to her church's false teachings, peer pressure, and college professors espousing and providing a liberal education, she was led far astray. She depended unhealthily and emotionally on her female peers to make her feel better about herself.
In 1978, she embraced the lesbian identity and bought into all the lies this incorrect self perception produced, believing she was born "gay." She lived in this bondage for almost 22 years, fully entrenched in a self-destructive lifestyle and never even having the vaguest idea her life did not have to be like this. The many failed relationships, ongoing smoking habit, increasing dependence on alcohol, lack of financial or job security, and a sense of deep restlessness which caused her to move around the country looking for that perfect place and woman, all took their toll. In these 22 years, Pam encountered every sin behavior known to man (or woman).
Until April 2000, when she finally reached the end of herself. Deep betrayal by so-called friends, a financial hole filled with quicksand she saw no way out of, deep psychological and emotional damage, and severe alcoholism all adversely affected her everyday life. With no real hope, she contemplated suicide. Then, God started working on her emptiness and her dysfunctional behaviors. The Holy Spirit brought thoughts of turning back to God into her mind. During those 22 years of depravity, she had treated God as her personal lifeline, only calling upon Him in the direst of situations. When the situations were over, no matter what the outcome, she would then abandon God just as if He were a broken toy she no longer needed or wanted.
Finally, on April 12, 2000, Pam was ready to call upon God for more than a quick fix. She wanted the emptiness to go away, needed the pain to stop and simply put, required supernatural help. Reverend Billy Graham's book entitled The Secret of Happiness sat unobtrusively upon a bookshelf. Her brother had given her the little book many years ago. She took that book by Billy Graham, went to bed, and started reading. Her life was forever changed that night as she gave her life once more to Jesus Christ. Within three days, she had given up drinking and, over the next few days, she began to hear God telling her the lesbian identity she had been so controlled and enslaved by was not the life He wanted for her. He was ready to offer her His love, His healing, His Grace; she was more than ready to accept all He had to offer. The weight of the bondage under which she had been so nearly destroyed was lifted. She was freed from a brutal life, totally transformed by the power of Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us in John 8:32: "'and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" There is nothing more compelling than being freed from something that has held you in deep bondage for too long. Pam's journey since April 12, 2000 has been one of literally walking out of the lesbian-identification "deathstyle" replete with a two-pack-a-day cigarette habit and a real problem with alcohol which had all nearly destroyed her. These are no longer ways of life for her.
On May 13, 2000, she moved to Lexington, Kentucky where she enjoyed a wonderful time of undisturbed and undistracted learning and growing in her Christian walk. She nourished herself on all the Christian books, movies, and music she could find. In Lexington, she met with the then-director (Melissa Fryrear) of a ministry where she was encouraged to keep doing what she was doing in feeding her intense hunger for God.
Pam moved to Tallahassee, Florida in August of 2001. Today, God is working on the deepest places in Pam's inner soul to make her the princess He created her to be from the beginning of time. When did Jesus laugh? Well, the Bible doesn't say this, but it seems He laughed with absolute delight the day He formed Pam Ousley and the day He formed you! He was tickled with His creations. In fact, sheer delight and joy went into these creations of His princesses and mighty men of valor. God created Pam with a love of music, of writing, of reading, of researching, of playing tennis, of riding a bicycle, of expressing herself in many creative ways. She loved to dance even in the middle of her greatest transgressions. God didn't make her a better dancer when she was re-born; He didn't make her a more accomplished glider on the dance floor; He did give her a new love and appreciation for music praising and glorifying Him.
Scripture says, "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." The old is gone. Pam dances on the grave of her deceased ex-self. She is free indeed. Smoking, drinking, sexual promiscuity, lesbian-identification, self-deprecation, self loathing, all the ways in which she used to describe herself - these no longer exclusively motivate her thinking and her actions.
Pam lives today more and more like the princess God created her to be. She is attempting to stop quenching the Holy Spirit who resides within her. She is stopping her actions of forsaking the princess within. She wants to live as though the Holy Spirit truly lives within her and her deepest identity is of a princess in the most Royal Kingdom ever formed. How about you? Women, will you begin to stop forsaking your princess identities? Men, will you discontinue forsaking your man-of-valor identities?
God gave Pam a BOLD ministry, not a timid one. Ministry does not have to be so somber you cannot embrace its message. Bold Appeals Ministry is evolving every day into a new and exciting ministry to people who need to turn to Jesus Christ and accept the forgiveness of the sins - sexual or otherwise - they have committed, learn God's Word, and receive the identities He gave to every child of His. The following photos provide a neat way to see the transformation process God is performing in Pam's life. He can accomplish this very same transformation in your life. God did not transform Pam's personality; He released it.
I urge you to view the "Pure Passion" television interview of Pam Ousley performed on July 17, 2010. You can find it at: www.xpmedia.com/eSWtxMJM1LSb and please feel free to share this video with anyone with whom you feel so led.
Pam Ousley, humble servant leader of Bold Appeals Ministry, Inc., PO Box 37009, Tallahassee, FL 32315. BoldAppeals@aol.com or 850-459-7303.